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| 2008 New Years Resolutions: 1. Quit smoking- I've been doing great but I've been eating like a pig, HELP! 2. No more crazy drinking- my goal is to never blackout again, I enjoy coming out to have fun and I want to remember everything that happens. 3. Workout more often- I want my body to be in top shape for the summer, now I need to learn on how to be not so lazy. 4. Find a guy that's not a loser- I noticed when I have a boyfriend I'm more calm and not as crazy, I need someone to hold me down without suffocating me. With all that said, of course I have control of #1-3 but with #4 it's going to be hard because I don't have full control of that. I need a guy with a place of his own, willing to accept Ashley, a good career and a lot of patience cause I know how hard I am to deal with. I'm always at the wrong places so I always tend to meet the wrong guys, so where is the right place to go? | | |
| Most people live life not knowing what they want and where life is going to take them in the next week, month or few years. I like to live knowing what's going on and where I'll be every step of the way. I have big dreams for myself, not saying that I want to be rich or hit the lotto- I just like to be sure of things and to be happy. Of course, in life there will always be set backs but that's only if you do it to yourself like I have. From this day forward I'm only looking for my future to be bright and not to let the little things in life leave me in the dust. All I can say is, out with the old and in with the new... I'm turning over a new leaf and can't wait to see where it will bring me. | | |
| While Ashley was getting ready this morning she mentioned her father, she's been mentioning to me for a few weeks now about her daddy's new girlfriend. She seems to love her because she gives her lots of attention and is good to her. For the past few years, she's never wanted to go to her dad's house on the weekends because she rather stay with me. Things started to take a turn once daddy found someone, recently she been saying how she can't wait to go to daddy's house. I'm not jealous or anything because I know inside Ashley will always love me and knows how good I am to her. Ashley was telling me she asked her new auntie whether her and daddy were going to get married and her new auntie replied with a yes. Once again, NOT jealous at all because I never saw him like that and I'm actually happy that he finally found someone. What broke my heart was Ashley telling me that she didn't want them to get married. She was trying to convince me that I should be the one marrying him. I told her things were not like that and she got really upset, I actually saw tears in her eyes. Then she went on about how she was going to cry at their wedding because she doesn't want to see them kiss. I remember when I was still with "B" and she put me through the same situation. I wish this wasn't so hard on her and that she would understand but I get the feeling that she will never. No matter how I try to explain it to her she just wants to see us together and that will never happen. This just breaks my heart because I can't make her happy with this situation.... what to do??? | | |
| The past 2 weekends has been fun filled with kid activities~ last weekend we decided to wake up bright & early n' drive the kids up to Sesame Place. Besides the fact that it took us 3 hours to get there because of the throwing up & bathroom needs of the kids it was a great day overall. We got to enjoy a little bit of everything there~ the rides, the shows, the water playing and of course dinner with all the characters. I was SoOoOoo proud of Ashley because they needed volunteers for the Elmo show and of course I threw her hand up but when she was picked I had doubts of her actually going on stage. At first, she went on stage and just stood there but after a while she was participating and I couldn't have been happier. For Kaylin's 1st birthday party we all went to the park near Kathy's house and everyone had a blast. She hosted the kids Olympics~ there was tug-a-war, kite flying, dodge ball, relay races and other activities. The kids missed out on all the water balloon activities because all the adults were throwing them at each other, keke. Everyone's kids are growing up so fast~ time flies without anyone knowing.... remember to enjoy every moment of it. * A special thanx goes out to D2 for helping me with princess* | | |
| With me being single again, I noticed that I am the issue in all my relationships and it's not the guy that I'm with... growing up without a dad and seeing my mother in all these bad relationships~ I've vowed to never let a man cheat on me, hit me, depend on me or run my life. The outcome, a super strong woman that is too independent and finds something wrong in every man she meets. What can I do to change my way of thinking? Will I ever meet someone who I think is good enough for me? Is there really someone for everyone? and of course, am I never going to get married... these are all questions that run through my mind every so often. So, I decided to post my thoughts and see if someone has the answer for me. **Please don't get me wrong, I'm not lonely or down, just wondering.......... | | |
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